The Thing I Thought I'd Never Find on the Dump

Last Friday, our neighbors invited us to dinner at their house.  The evening started with a delicious margarita and ended with a fantastic espresso.  In the middle of those two things came lots of conversation.  The subject of working at the dump came up (mostly because I never shut up about it).  I was going on and on about all of the things that I've found and someone asked if there was anything I haven't found. 

My response?  A gun.  And a dead body.

Which would figure that the very next morning, with our first customer of the day, I'd get to cross one of those things off of my list.

I like to help people unload.  However, there isn't very much time for it.  This guy was the first through the gate and had a rental pickup rounded with what I could see was some good junk.  I wandered over and offered to help him unload.  Sometimes men get offended by an offer to help.  No big deal, dude. You can be macho at the dump.  But this guy wasn't that guy.  This guy was chatty.

Within the first minute of talking to him, I learned that he was a.) moving, b.) getting divorced c.) broke.  I don't like to make judgements like that about people that I don't know, but this guy paid $42.00 at the gate due to the size of his load and then I watched him pitch $100 dollars worth of non-ferrous scrap metal onto the pile.  Beyond that, he said he was renting the truck all day and I happen to know that the company he was renting from charged by the hour.

I was tossing left and right, listening to the guy's stories.  Asking him if this and that went to the pile because some of it still looked as though it had value. 

"Everything goes.  Every single thing,"  he said.

I picked up what I thought was an old school pellet gun and started to chuck it onto the pile.  The receiver was wrapped in trash bags so I couldn't see what make - Daisy or some other thing, it was.  I turned it over to look at the rusty barrel and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head.  I kept my cool and placed it beside the truck.  I started chucking a little faster and quickly finished the job.  As he drove away, I ran for the pickup.  Here is what I found:

Don't get too excited.  She's a bit of a "Monet". 

Monet: adj. -  Term used to describe features of the opposite sex.  "Man, she looked hot from far away, but when I got up close, she was such a Monet!"

Monet = Looks good from far away, but up close.........notsomuch.

Bottom line is, most of the rust is surface rust.  Even in mint shape, she'd only be worth a Benjamin.  I'll probably fix it up and sell it, cheap.  The most important thing.....I FOUND A FREAKING GUN ON THE DUMP!  How cool is that?  I know what you're thinking - It is probably a murder weapon.  Seriously?  Who uses a single shot .20 for a murder weapon?

Okay, besides that guy.  Sheesh.

Next week, I'm sure I'll find a dead body.  And yes, I will search the body's pockets for money.  That's just the guy that I am.

Pax Domini Sit Semper Vobiscum,

Mike, Oscar, Hotel.....out.