Today in the News: I'm at a bit of a crossroads here on the blog. Really, if you don't like therapy-related talk, skip a few paragraphs. The screen literally fell OFF of my laptop last week and that's why I chose to take the week off. Now I'm using my wife's old Compaq and it has a bad "o" key, so if there is a typ .....uh, let me hit that harder....if there is a typO Or twO, that's why.
In addition, things are busy. I've been (slightly) promoted at the dump (transfer station, for you proper folks) and haven't had a chance to do much in the way of outside. It sucks at times, but I'm happy for what God has given me and, frankly, I love the dump gig; it just makes a man tired.
So am I rambling? (Yes, Mike, you are) With all of the things happening as of late, I was considering discontinuing the blog, as much as I love doing it. Then I got three fantastic posts from bmatt and realized all of the support and friendship that I've experienced and received since starting the blog and.....the bottom line is......
the blog will continue. For now.
I appreciate all of the support from both readers and writers. If you've considered writing a guest post, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org .
Oli, the New Zealand Buck
Here is my newest addition to the H.H.A.F., Oli.
I bought him last weekend. As the title says, he's a New Zealand Buck. As you might recall, we also have Easter, the New Zealand doe. Now, before I get into the main point of this post, I want to tell you about bringing Oli home. We had him in the car and I put him on my lap, at which time he peed on me. My fault. He has a bladder the size of....well, a baby rabbit. Did I mention that it was 90 degrees out and the air conditioning in the Subaru is going out along with the transmission, clutch and rings? So 90 degrees out and bunny-boy peed on my gnads and left a giant pee stain on my khakis. Great.
Maybe he knew what was coming.
When we got home I was going to put him in the rabbit cage I got from the dump, but it has a few holes and he's pretty small, so I introduced him to Sunny, the buck Angora.
Sunny is a pretty cool dude. He likes me, which is more than I can say for the two does. I thought he'd kick the crap out of the little guy but to my surprise when I put Oli in the cage, Sunny was friendly. He looked at Oli, hopped over to him, sniffed him, and then began to lick him. How sweet.
Sunny licked him from his head down to his cocoa-puff maker, hopped around him three times and then........mounted poor Oli and road him like a stolen ten speed in Harlem. I was traumatized. Imagine how Oli felt.
I knew that it was kind of a rabbit thing and that humping is really all about dominance and establishing order......but, really....is it? Especially when you do it umpteen million times in a row?
Ol' Sunny did more drilling in five minutes than most refineries do in a lifetime. Oli finally found a corner and planted his but directly in the 90 degree angle of it and refused to move. I felt bad for Oli and started to see Sunny as some sort of pederast, but I had no other options. Or did I?
Male rabbits don't get Verile until about three to six months of age. Little Oli was born in the middle of April. I decided to put him in with the girls, knowing that Issy, the angora, is too hairy for him to accidentally knock up and Easter, the New Zealand is scared of her own shadow. So I put him in with the two girls who immediately flocked to his side, sniffing him all over and then......proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Like, really. Biting, kicking.....you know how women fight. Just dirty, mean, rotten and low down. Oli ran for a hutch with them hot on his tail. I heard a lot of thumping and a little of squeaking and he flew out the door again and into my arms. The girls were not impressed.
So within the first twenty minutes of being on the H.H.A.F., he'd been raped by a man-rabbit and had the crap kicked out of him by a couple of female rabbit gang members. Welcome to Shawshank, Andy....I mean Oli. You can get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.
Oli settled in with Sunny and learned how to find the nearest corner post-haste. I'm working on another cage for him, but it will take time. Good luck, my little friend.
This was all going to be one post, but I've rambled on for too long. Expect more about Oli (and less of this kind of nonsense) this week, along with another great article from bmatt and some fun photos from TWT!
Pax Domini Sit Semper Vobiscum,
Mike, Oscar, Hotel.....out.