Thursday, March 24, 2011

Crook Nook! By the B&A Stowaway

Today in the News:  I know that Ross and I sahre many readers, but in case you don't read Ross' blog and you do like axes, he has a great article today.  I respect Ross' work with axes and, before I would ever spend a large chunk of change on an axe, I'd go by Ross' blog first and see if he has done a review.  Please check out his article today, as it is very informational for us axe lovers.  The Woodtrekker Blog.

Bernard Ten Bears' Link of the Day: -

Crook Nook!  By the B&A Stowaway

Oh yay, they have invented paperless books. This should rank right up there with non-alcoholic beer and crystal Pepsi. Let’s just distill one of the handiest components out of the book and make it easier to be lost in the unending dross that is modern technology. I will admit, I appreciate much of what is being discovered every day, but seriously, leave the books alone!

My love affair with books started when I was young. My parents didn’t believe in television, so my brothers and I made up for it by having our library cards on a bungee cord. We read anything we could get our hands on, we can tell you the difference between Hardy Boys series, we can tell you which ‘Appleton’ is writing Tom Swift by the book, and which Paulsen we are reading by just a phrase. We like books.

Being in the military, the first rule is ‘hurry up and wait’. As a jet engine mechanic, in between the waiting, is grease, oil, jet fuel, and hydraulic fluid. Through it all, I have a book in my pocket, so the hurry up and wait is a lot more entertaining. But with an ebook, the work would be a lot more electrifying and expensive. Can you imagine a nice shop of jet fuel spraying across a Kindle? I would go up in a nice little puff of smoke! And another aspect of being in the military is that at some point, lead is gonna fly. With a Bible tucked in your shirt pocket, a 9mm can only make it to about Psalms ( and I agree, it is a hard book to get through). A round through a Nook is not only going to go right through it and you, but it’s going to spray shrapnel and battery acid into your chest. I call this a win for the paperback.

Once I went on a quick deployment: we were playing war games, and the guy who was supposed to go canceled the night before, so I got a call at midnight that said my butt was going to be on a C5 at 0900. I grabbed my gear and swung into an all-night pharmacy to grab a book. There was limited selection, but I got one about an alien and his Earth girlfriend who had to save his planet. It wasn’t until I was over the Midwest and started to read the book until I discovered that not only was this a harlequin romance, but there was no place or opportunity for the next week to buy a different book. You would not believe the satisfaction I got, upon coming home, to toss that book into a roaring fire. What would I have done with an ebook, pressed delete? What sort of release is that? I was flat-out duped, and I just get to hit the delete button? Click, and that’s it? Give me something I can rip in half in a fit of disgust!

The fire brings up another point. How many of us have used books for other things? I have sacrificed the intro of a Mark Twain book to start a fire at a youth camp once. I’ve propped open a window with a Reader’s Digest condensed anthology more than once. In my old trailer, my coat rack was held up by Battlefield Earth. Yes, it is a thick book, but to explain the story, my grandfather made the coat rack. His house leaned heavily towards the left, so all the crafts he made were perfectly level at his place, but leaned towards Sawyers at anyone else’s house. But I digress. Also, the floor in the trailer was held up by road signs under the carpet that my roomie brought home while drunk one night. And I ended up swapping the whole trailer to Mike Oscar’s father for a .357 and a .44 Dirty Harry special. Sorry, another digression.

But how many of us have gone to camp, only to discover that it was going to rain like the dickens all weekend long? Searching through the shelves, we’ve come across some Zane Gray or Louis L’Amour, and realized that we wouldn’t have to shoot the guy who brought the beans? The chances that you would have found a Kindle (not kindling) are pretty slim. And if you pulled one out of your fanny pack, you do not need to be at hunting camp. Your buddies are not going to sleep sound around you, and will certainly be sleeping on their backs. And, certainly in the case of the guy that brought the beans, if you run out of toilet paper, a book really becomes your best friend. Socks are expensive, and books have introductions, notes about the author,  and epilogues and things that won’t be missed.

I sum it up with this, the reason that I started this rant. They are advertising kids books on ebooks now. Dr. Seuss electronically. The very image they showed was one from my childhood, except in the version I remembered, I had assisted the doctor by adding a healthy dose of green crayon to his picture.  Right across the dogs nose. Am I expected to let little Rivers grow up without the chance to color in his books? You can’t wipe a crayon across a Kindle screen and make it work. You can’t go to sleep reading a Nook by flashlight under your covers.  Give us back our paper, we need it.

Watch Out Where Those Huskies Go And Don't You Eat That Yellow Snow!

The B&A Stowaway


I've spent many a month with this guy in a remote cabin in Canada (and no, I wasn't the bean-eater).  I have also posted bail for him and outrun many law enforcement officers with him.  No kidding.  Trust me, with the B&A around, there is never a dull moment.

Pax Domini Sit Semper Vobiscum,

Mike, Oscar, Hotel......out.


  1. I too share in your disgust for the sad state of literature. Though it does make for a great show if you throw an eReader across the room after finishing a passionate poem reading in front of an audience ... but even a hardback would hurt less if you stuck a listener ... and it would survive. I love the second hand book store we have here (I refuse to buy a Kindle or Nook or whatever they are called, I can't even stand to read a .pdf on my computer), I bought 30 Goosebumps books a week or two ago for about $47.00 (remember those? I want my kids to have the same opportunity to read them that I had)...can't beat that.

  2. Yeah, Goosebumps was an awesome series! There is nothing like browsing through a used book store and finding a book in a series you have been collecting. I enjoy Jame Retief (character) books, and you don't thumb through a Nook and find one of those.